Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
