he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just had sex bonerless
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize