6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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