I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
