So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
that's an acceptable place to lick
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
