Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
