Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
