He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
