I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
