im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
