singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
