Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How external is "for external use only"?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize