Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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