Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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