so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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