she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize