she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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