Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
