Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
