Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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