I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
