I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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