Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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