I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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