then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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