idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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