Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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