i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
