all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
