Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
