so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
