You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
