I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
