He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize