I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
