was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
wow bdsm is so cute
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