The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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