Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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