What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
