dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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