I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
