Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
They are going to name an STD after you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize