did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Randomize
