Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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