So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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