If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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