I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize