Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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