you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
