STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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