I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
