the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
