I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
