wrigley field is MILF paradise
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
