he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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