ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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