THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
