would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize