I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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