i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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