And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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