is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize
